16. Soulmates never die

Summer is here. The sun is hot and yellow. People in heat walk past, laughing, talking, happy, dressed in colourful summerclothes. Tanned skin, dark glasses to hide their eyes. The sun reflects on the water, almost blinding me. When I look through my squinted eyes, I see your face, rippled by the waves, wide-eyed, calling for me.

I do not wear sunglasses, my skin is pale, and my clothes are black. Tears run across my cheeks, I feel them and taste them. They are warm and salty, and remind me of you.

You are not here, and summer seems meaningless. The sun is shining for a reason I can’t see anymore, and people are laughing while my soul is dying. I feel myself melting and fading to dust, like vampires in movies do, under the heat that feels golden, and makes me feel desperate.

I look down at the river beneath me. I want to feel myself surrounded by the water, let my body float with the waves, want to close my eyes and become weightless and numb. It’s so tempting. I want to be with you.

Slowly I lift myself up on the railing, feel the warm wind through my hair. I close my eyes, and fall. A few seconds maybe, before my body hits the water. I feel the sun on my back, but it fades, as I sink deeper into the black coolness. I can almost reach you now. You are here, it’s true. Soulmates never die.

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